Hi, my name is Ellie, and today we’ll be taking a peek down memory lane to see what awful awfullness had to occur to make me such an insufferable but lovable asshole.
And we’ll do it powerpoint style, because that’s the way, ahuh ahuh, I like it, ahuh ahuh (+5 XP points if you get that reference).
Yeah. Powerpoint style. Told ya.
No, I know. The most PRECIOUS child to ever become a devil.
I wore that uniform for like 3 years straight and honestly? Torture.
I want you all to know I thought long and hard about whether I could post this picture on the internet. But then I thought, if I can’t laugh at Sassy Drama Queen Award Winner Me, then what’s the point of being funny at all? Be grateful. Also I should make a sidenote here that 22-year-old me without makeup and this picture of me look IDENTICAL. My face hasn’t changed in over a decade. I know. Radical.
Some people really ~find themselves~ in high school. I just remember a lot of being bullied. The emo raccoon eyes though. I dragged that out. Avril Lavigne popularised it in like what? 2006? And I just. Didn’t let it go. Until I was like 18.
What a turn-around from high school. Cut my hair short, figured out How To: Makeup (hint: getting foundation in the colour “white as mothereffing snow” helps. Discovered lipstick. Unless you too discovered lipstick at a crucial moment in your life, I’m not sure how I can possibly explain what an impact lipstick has had on not only my face, but my entire personality.
And I’m not kidding. I really, really can’t do math. It’s a curse. But at least I get to say HAH to my 8th grade teacher. Hey Mr. Braal. If you’re reading this, joke’s on you. I CAN in fact whip out a calculator when I go to do the groceries. It’s on my PHONE and NOBODY will EVER know. So there.
So now you know a little about me and my life: dramatic, theatrical Irish child living in the Netherlands. Sounds like it would be OK, right?
Anyway, welcome to my personal whiner-baby fest, where I complain about the ~adventures~ I have in the Netherlands and consequently why I hate everything and everybody.